JILL PRINCIPLE

REVIEWS

By

Deena Hartray Butta

The Jill Principle : A Woman’s Guide to Healing Your Spirit After Divorce Or Breakup / by Michele Germain, LSSW. – Llewellyn, c2006

Read this book whether your relationship is breaking up or not.  It provides practices, techniques, and exercises which can be used to help a women heal inwardly from any kind of relationship which is breaking up or has broken up, and perhaps even prevent one from occurring.  As the author says on p. xi, “Divorce or a major breakup is a call to heal old pain.”

The title of the book comes from the nursery rhyme in which Jack and Jill are metaphors for the problem of marriage.  It specifically deals with the women’s perspective.   The practices, techniques, and exercises provide a dimension beyond ordinary treatment and counseling to help unblock and heal your energy on each level of being (body, emotion, mind, and spirit).  It will help you to recognize symptoms of trauma on these four levels, and describes the steps that must be taken in order to heal on that level.

Much of the book consists of illuminating and well-chosen personal accounts by women (including the author) who have experienced trauma on one level or another, and how they worked through it. It also touches on legal and other issues you will need to deal with, and tells (again from a women’s perspective) how to respond productively, and  how to get started working on them.

She discusses grief, how it affects you on the spiritual level, and discusses some good ways to heal it.  She also discusses the effect grief and anger have on the body, of which women are not often consciously aware, and how to recognize signs thathealing is occurring..  The exercise and visualizations start out on a gentle focused level, and move progressively to deeper levels where healing is needed.  Old pain from early childhood can manifest in patterns of thinking and feeling become re-inforced; and the author provides practical effective ways of healing this old pain.  The value of crisis is discussed, and ways for learning to trust one’s own self again, how to release fear, listen to inner guidance, and not fall back into old patterns of negativity are described..  She also teaches us how to recognize what personal power is, and how to let go of disempowering reactions..

One extremely practical exercise is keeping a life inventory, in which you label your activities as intellectual, emotional, physical, or spiritual.  In this way you find out which areas are out of balance, and how to restore balance to them..

There is a nice further-reading list.

Learning how to integrate body, mind, and soul is important for everyone.  Your primary relationship might not be a marriage; and this book can help your heal your primary relationship, which might be with your self.  This book can help you find out who you really are on all four levels, and how to heal your relationship with your self.